For Gawd’s sake get me to the church on time.

In my search to find something to do this weekend I forced myself to go to a movie on Sunday. I was going to go with some friends, but that fell through at the last minute. I decided to go see Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride. I always wonder about people that have to put their name in the title. I chose the title for this post because the movie is about marriage, it is a musical, and I really like My Fair Lady. If you don’t like musicals or My Fair Lady then I don’t really care. And now on with the ramble.

The movie had gotten good reviews on RT, and it is directed by Tim Burton. I like a lot of the stuff Burton does, but for some reason his stuff seems to come out better when he goes farther off the Hollywood normality radar. This seemed like one of those instances.

This movie has similar animation looks to The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach. Most of the characters are either stick figury or fat with loots of very round bodies. All have very large eyes and an almost claymation look. It always reminds me of the old stop motion Rudolph, which I guess is the point. If you look closely you will be able to see a nod to the master of stop motion animation: check out the manufacturer’s name on the piano.

I have to agree with the reviews given the movie. I really enjoyed myself. It has enough humor and still builds the story around some very human events. It almost reminds me of a mixture of the old fairy tales with hard lessons learned, while still maintaining a (Oooo can’t say for spoiler reasons. He he.).

I recommend everyone, and I do mean everyone. I figure a small percentage of the population won’t like it, and they are usually the ones that like to complain about everything anyway. I might as well give them some more ammunition. The thing it PG, and the kiddies should adore it. It also has enough adult humor and story to keep parents interested.

I say it’s worth the full price ticket. If you have children, prepare to buy the DVD when it comes out. Although, I might buy it anyway.

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Attention K-Mart Shoppers.

That line actually makes me think of something. Several years back they were airing a new animated version of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. It turned out I could do a fair impersonation of Skeletor. Based on that, we thought up a little animated skit involving Skeletor: Overlord or Evil working at K-Mart. I won’t get into the details to protect our ideas, but we thought it was pretty funny.

Anyway, that doesn’t really have anything to do with this post. I am now the proud owner of a mighty blue beacon in my den. Anyone who has stayed at the Atlanta Extension Office of the Elm Street Group knows the blue beacon of which I speak. I had resisted purchasing a ReplayTV because I have a pretty good Panasonic VCR (with the fastest rewind I have ever seen). A friend of mine kept telling me that the thing was made for me. Finally he sent me an e-mail telling me of a 160 hour unit on sale on Amazon.com for $179 with a $100 mail in rebate. With the price at $79, the prospect of nearly unlimited recording, 160 hours is a long time, and not having to fool with tapes any more, I bit hard. I used some birthday money and purchased one last thing. I’ve only had it for a few days, but damnit I like that thing.

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Actually, this is MY boomstick.

My Grandmother moved out of her house several months back. The family has gotten together several times to go through the materials in the hour. I tell you what. You can collect a lot of things in a house over 50 years. Anyway, the family was sorting items for charity, yard sale, and trash, and we were looking for things that we might want to keep in the family. Other family members chose chairs, furniture, pictures, records, etc, but I didn’t have room for much at my current domicile. However, one item did strike my fancy. That’s right. I am now caretaker of my Grandfather’s old double barrel 12 gauge shotgun. Now I have to get gun cleaning supplies.

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Not your ordinary shootem-up.

This past Sunday I went to see Lord of War staring Nicolas Cage. It got a decent 55% on RT, and that puts it well within my threshold. I’ll keep my rambling short, because the movie isn’t that complicated.

Basically Cage plays Yuri Orlov, a Ukrainian who, as a child, immigrated with his family to the US. After having little opportunity for profitable ventures, he sees an opportunity to make money off others’ violence. He becomes a gun seller. The rest of the movie covers expanding his business from local gangs to worldwide arms dealing in weapons of all types, and the consequences of his profession.

Some people don’t like Cage that much. They have problems with his rather somber face, but I’ve known people that looked like that. Therefore it doesn’t bother me as much. I will say that his rather unemotional expressions fit this character quite well.

As for the movie itself, there have been a lot of action movies about “good guys” going after gun runners and taking them down. This is one of the first movies I’ve ever seen that depicts the path a person took to get into the profession, and why the profession exists. Don’t get me wrong, it in no way glamorizes what Cage does. It makes the audience realize what a nasty business it is, and that it won’t stop any time soon. Some people would watch the movie and say, “I know all that already.” But truth be known, a lot of people don’t know that.

I say it’s a decent movie at a matinee price, if you like a little action, drama, and politics, but don’t expect Oscar material. When I doubt, wait for the DVD.

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It’s… Uhhh… “Thisismyboomstick!” Bruce Campbell!

As most of you probably haven’t noticed, the old book counter has ticked another notch on its journey to maximum entropy. That’s right, I have finished reading Bruce Campbell’s New York Times bestseller If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor. I feel I have to explain the title of the post, and I will in my own rambling way.

I have to say that I’ve been a fan of Mr. Campbell for years. Shoot, I can’t even remember what I saw him in first, but it was probably Army of Darkness, “The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.”, or The Hudsucker Proxy. They all came out in 1993. With my penchant for watching B-Grade movies I’ve probably seen him before that, but I can’t be sure. For some reason I liked him from the beginning. Maybe it was the characters he played or something, but he always seemed like an interesting kind of working stiff actor. Maybe it’s also because he is so recognizable, and I really liked Army of Darkness. That’s just my kind of camp. Anyway “This is my BOOM stick.” is a pretty famous quote by Campbell in AoD. I have a pretty well trained ability to recognize familiar people, even through sci-fi and horror makeup, but I have a hard time placing faces to names. I usually run through mental images I have of movies and scenes I remember seeing the person in until I get the name. (This happens every day as well. I’ve been through whole conversations without being able to remember someone’s name.) Some friends and I went to see the Spiderman movie, and we had heard that BC was going to have a cameo, but we didn’t know when exactly. (Isn’t it nice that a self professed B actor can get cameos. I personally think it kicks ass.) We were sitting there when the wrestling scene starts, and I recognize BC as the Ring Announcer, but my name recall missed a shift again. In my frustration I muttered the post title word for word. Add a shaking pointed finger for the real effect. Anyway. On with the book.

I’ve had this book for a couple of years, but I had never gotten around to reading it. I usually take reading in spurts, but I’m trying to work up to a continual habit. For those of you who don’t know Bruce Campbell is kind of a cult favorite actor known and loved by people around the world. Just do a search for him on Google or Wikipedia if you don’t believe me.

As far as the book, it’s like I would expect a conversation with BC to be, funny and impressive. I swear, don’t read this book at work unless you can stifle a laugh, or at least can get away with laughing. There were several parts where I had to close the book I was laughing so hard. Basically Mr. C takes you on a chronological walk through his life from boyhood to the writing of the book. You get the basic tomfoolery of children and teenage years, but you also get a look at the early life of making 8mm (Super 8) films for family and friends. Then the film making gets more complicated, and you get the idea of what happens from there. The one thing I couldn’t get over was the names of the people he grew up with and worked with at such early points in his life and career: Sam Raimi of course, the Coen brothers, Scott Speigel, John Camron, etc. I swear it’s amazing who all he has worked with, and what he’s done that I had no idea about.

I say that if you want a good laugh and an idea of what it takes to make it in the film and television industry then this is a good read. If you like Bruce Campbell, then it is a MUST read.

In case you are wondering the Automotive bodies book is for a class I’m taking right now, ME 440 Materials for Aggressive Environments. It’s a real page turner, I tell you. Plus, it’s chock full of run on sentences, and sentences that are technically not run on, but they take three breaths to say. The Steven Hawking book I have had for several years and am just getting around to reading. Since it is hard back, I don’t want to damage it. Therefore I’m leaving it at home for reading. The book from Charles Van Doren sounded interesting, but that is not the cover on my book. We’ll see what comes of them.

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I’m losing the pattern lock., Sir.

Sorry about the bad Star Trek joke. I have been very late in doing this review, so let me get it done. Last weekend I was very bored, so I went to Anderson and watched The Transporter 2. Yes yes yes, say what you will, but follow my rambling if you want more.

Basically, I went to see the movie because I needed to go to Anderson shopping, and I wanted some popcorn. That about sums it up right there. The movie was basically what I expected. There is a bit of a story, a female “love” interest, lots of action, unnecessarily complicated fighting, and some stupid decisions. In other words, if you liked the original, then you should like this one. I mean it stands to reason considering they have virtually the same rating on RT.

I give the movie a go see it at a matinee if you really enjoyed the original, and need to get out of the house. If you only liked the original, then rent it on DVD.

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I want my Nerd TV

Ars Technica brought this to my attention several months back, and I wanted to mention that it had indeed started. PBS has a new series entitled NerdTV. For the series Robert X. Cringely is interviewing the founding fathers and developers of the technology industry. The first show is an interview of Andy Hertzfeld one of the original Macintosh systems programmers. The interview lasts for about an hour and 15 minutes. They talk about the history Hertzfeld has been involved in, current projects, and the future of computer technology. One of the most interesting things about the show is that it doesn’t air on television. The show is available for free download from the web site in various forms, with more formats coming. I downloaded the 90+ MB Mpeg4 file and watched it with QuickTime.

I liked the first show. I say that anyone who thinks of themselves as a nerd should watch this. It is an interesting look at the mavericks of technology, and I think it holds great promise for future shows.

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I would like it where?

A friend of mine did a personality/city quiz on a web site and posted the results. Since I like personality quizzes, and because I am bored at work, I decided to try it as well.

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Your personality type is RCOAI

You are moderately reserved, calm, moderately organized, moderately accommodating, and intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Norfolk, Oklahoma City, Nashville, Tucson, Dallas/Ft. Worth, San Antonio, Indianapolis, Memphis, Milwaukee, Orange County, Los Angeles and these international countries/regions Indonesia, Ukraine, Denmark, Middle East, Czech Republic, India, Caribbean, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Guam, Israel, South Korea, Norway, Mexico

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
City Reviews at CityCulture.org

Apparently, I'm just Moderate, either that or according to the in depth description I'm a Jedi. I'm actually really surprised. Normally I have points of contention with most of these "tests," but this one seems to have me pegged pretty well on personality type. I think there may be a few things missing, like my dangerous sense of humor, but for the most part I think it is spot on. It is based on my opinions of myself though, so it should fit my own self image. And WTF is up with Los Angeles in the cities. Holy crap. I'm sorry, but I think not. I will admit I don't know enough about the international locations, though I find Denmark and the Caribbean intriguing. Maybe everyone likes the Caribbean as well.

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But I don't like SPAM

The comment SPAM has forced me to turn on word verification for comments. I hoped to be spared, but it was not so. I don't think it's too much of an annoyance.

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Give me one knight and One Knight Only

Well it’s that time again. My list of books has shifted by one and the work One Knight Only by Peter David, sequel to Knight Life, has been added to the done list. It took me a little longer to read this one, because school was starting back and things were busier. However, I went out of town for a friend’s wedding this weekend, so I had free time to get some good reading done. Ramble along with me for my review.

Being a sequel, we pick up some time after Knight Life left off. If you read my linked review above, you will already know I liked the book as a fun little romp. Therefore I had decent hopes for this one. If you haven’t read the first book, this review might have spoilers.

One Knight Only takes place several years after the end of Knight Life. Our hero, Arthur Penn; formerly Arthur Pendragon, Son of Uther, King of the Britons; has graduated from Mayor of New York and is now President of the United States taking along his First Lady Gwen. He was actually elected as an Independent candidate; probably no one else could do that. Arthur inherited, from two previous administrations, a war on terrorism that centered on a leader named Arnim Sandoval. Sandoval orchestrated many precision strikes against the US, one that nearly killed the former President had Mayor Arthur not intervened. Merlin is frozen in the form of a statue, and no longer there to counsel Arthur. Percival, The Grail Knight, is off doing whatever and hasn’t been heard from recently. Then after the State of the Union address where Arthur announces that they may have gotten Sandoval, the first lady is shot in the head and enters a coma. Arthur is left truly alone and to his own devices for the first time in forever. There is no hope of Gwen recovering, well except one, but that involves one of the most dangerous quests of Arthurian legend. And besides, Percival might be the only one capable of finding the Grail at all.

I said before that I liked the first book because it was a fun little romp. This one takes on a more serious tone. It’s kind of like saying that getting elected was the fun part. Doing the job every day is what’s hard. The first book hit the hard stuff near the end. This one sees it through from the beginning.

I like the characterization in Peter David’s books. He fills in more personal information about touches, glances, reading emotion on others’ faces, body language, and other things that give you information about both characters at once. You get to know them better and like them more. I also like the funny things he does as well; the quips, stifled smiles, giggles, gasps, jokes to lighten the mood, expressions of bewilderment, or looks of confusion. It all brings the characters and their interaction to life. I think he does an even better job of that in this book than he did in the first. I especially liked he portrayal of child size Merlin (He ages backward you know.) and his unabashed, cold, cruel, smart assed, cynicism.

On of the other things I really like is seeing these people of legend interacting with the modern world. I like hearing Arthur equate science and magic as the same things. To hear him complain about how much more difficult it is to work a republic like ours than to run a monarchy. How technology makes some feats of magic immensely easier, and how some people refuse to change with the times. In the book an object was flying through the sky towards The High King and The Aged One.

THK asked, “What…is that?”
TAO promptly responded, “It’s an Osprey.”
“That’s no bird…”
“It’s a Bell Boeing V-22 Osprey,” responded TAO. “It’s a type of VTOL…a Vertical Takeoff and Landing vehicle.”
“You know of such things?” THK asked in amazement.
“Of course, why don’t you?” asked TAO.
“That is not the point. How can you know of it? Do the gods visit dreams upon you? Do you study auguries? Do you upon occasion wander the earth seeking knowledge that you can…”
“I have an Internet connection you great lummox. How else?”
“A what?” asked THK.
Pfffffffttttt responded TAO.

That right there is one of the little gems of the work. There are many others.

I have one suggestion. Be prepared to read up a little on Babylonian and Sumerian mythology for the book. It may be helpful if you do not remember much of it.

In all I think this is a better book that the first one. It definitely is longer. It still has some of the political aspect, but it also has a lot of fun and adventure. I recommend it to anyone who likes fantasy and mythology, with a little political humor mixed in.

Now I’m off to my next book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor by Bruce Campbell. I bought this a while back and just hadn’t gotten to reading it. I really like Bruce Campbell though (Yes I am a geek), so I have some pretty good hopes.

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Why out of my ass, of course.

I hear people exclaiming about the slowness of response in the areas affected by Katrina. Does anyone have any idea of the size of that area? You can’t fly a helicopter or drive a vehicle in hurricane force winds. That puts response back until the winds dissipate. Now you need to know where the helicopters are coming from. They needed to be out of the storm’s path so it will be several hundred miles. Where will they be based? Where will they refuel? How many people can they carry at once? What are their ranges? Where will they drop people off? What is the total round trip for this movement of people? How many trips can the helicopter make without refueling? Where is the fuel coming from? The mayor needs 500 busses. Where are they coming from? Several hundred miles would be my guess. Where will they be based? Where will their fuel come from? How many hundreds of miles of road will have to be cleared so that they can make it to New Orleans? How long will that take? How will they navigate around downed bridges and flooded roads? How will you keep the busses from being shot at or overloaded with people? Where will they drop people off? How long will that trip take? How many trips can be made on one tank of fuel? How do you get rescue people in? How do you supply rescue crews with fuel, food, water, medical supplies, and other equipment?

People expect stuff to just BE THERE. Well it isn’t just there. It has to come from somewhere, and someone has the crappy job of trying to coordinate something that will never be able to happen fast enough. It’s a disaster, and we can’t pull this stuff out of our asses. Damned armchair quarterbacks. The people are doing the best they can with what they have. Maybe this will lead to some reevaluation of what price we place on emergency preparedness.

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