Could you repeat that?

Well lookie there I’m actually typing this on Sunday. I can’t believe it. I’m finally getting around to reviewing those two books I read. This post will be about the Deborah Tannen book You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. I’ll ramble on about it on the other end of the link, to help keep the front page cleaner.

I sought out this book after reading The War Against Boys. It was referenced a few times and I decided to get it and see what it said for myself. I’ll say now that I’m glad I did.

Basically the book covers differences in communication structure and dynamics between sexes. It includes both verbal and body language communication. The differences are similar to watching two groups from very different cultures try to negotiate a contract. They have different ideas of how the negotiation is supposed to proceed, but the methods may not be compatible. It leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation. Tannen points to examples of this difference in style in conversations between sexes. However, I would say that the style differences can occur between any two people, but the most common and dramatic differences do occur across sexes.

Really the book reads pretty fast, and holds your attention quite well. It’s divided into sections that are only a couple of pages long. That makes it easy to pick up the book and read at short breaks in the day. I would recommend this book to most people. It sheds a lot of light on being able to notice different conversational styles, and thwart escalating misunderstandings. In fact two days after reading the book I saw a couple having a conversation in the store that epitomized some of the conversation styles covered in the book. I think it would also be an asset to anyone writing fiction and seeking to make more realistic text.